Porn Stars
by 11X.d
Summary: Ulquiorra and Grimmjaw become world renowned porn stars against their will, thanks to the espada. Side fic to Couple fights


"I find them adorable." Aizen stated smiling.

"You find puppies, kittens, fluffy crap adorable not _them_…" Yami said vulgarly, face distorted in disturbance.

"I awoke for _this_?" Stark grumbled, an annoyed angry expression dawning his visage.

"This is quite unorthodox…us being here…watching this…scene." Szayel scratched his head as if confused.

"You mean a disgusting, horrible, never again should be repeated scene. This is revolting I'm leaving." Barragan turned to leave, thoroughly disgusted with the entire scene.

"You should recite your greetings to Aizen-Sama before going Barragan." Halibel standing cross armed sharply notified with a glance in his direction. Barragan grumbled something under his breath irritated but before he could say anything Nnoitra cut his off.

"Tch, the way you talk Halibel it would seem you want to suck Aizen-Sama off every single-"

"Finish that sentence and I will castrate you." Halibel shot a dangerous glance at Nnoitra hands on her sword, ready to attack.

"You seem to love to talk dirty." Nnoitra laughed. Others commented under their breath about the lack of love Nnoitra had for his own life.

"You perverted moron." Halibel hissed angrily as she mercilessly stepped on Nnoitra's private regions. Nnoitra's screams rang through Las Noches.

"Stop your actions, Halibel, Nnoitra." Aizen warned eyes only turning to them for a second.

"Deepest apologies, Aizen-Sama." Halibel muttered underneath her breath her foot stepping off from Nnoitra's crotch. Nnoitra desperately tried not to make too much noise as his rolled around in his pain.

"Please try not to make too much noise, you will awake them. I would be much pleased if you took Zommari's behavior as a reputation to follow." Aizen commented giving a nod of approval to Zommari.

"Acting like that fucker isn't as easy as it looks like," Yami commented yawning out loud. Zommari sent a disapproving glance towards Yami.

"I agree." Aaroneiro's mechanic voice bubbled. Zommari closed his eyes and sighed, resuming his yoga position.

"This sight sickens me, I am leaving. Good day Aizen-Sama." Barragan angrily recited his greetings, eager to leave the sight.

"But Barragan don't you wish to see their reaction when they awake to our watch?" Aizen asked.

"No, I would rather not." Barragan stated irritably. "I have matters to tend to. And this, arrangement was made quite offhand."

"Actually I too would rather wish to return to my own laboratory. I too have some experiments to tend to." Szayel added in.

Halibel frowned at all this. "Ridiculous. It is clear that Aizen-Sama wants us all here." Halibel stated. Szayel and Barragan stopped and sighed watching the entire scene again.

"I have to sleep, if you want to watch this ludicrous scene do it yourself." Stark yawned turning to leave.

"I have noted that I haven't given any of you dismissals yet. Halibel you were quite right." Aizen smiled, Stark, Szayel and Barragan sighed in hopelessness. "Consider this a great opportunity, how many times in a lifetime are you able to see such a sight."

"I'd prefer not to." Yami mumbled.

"It really isn't very picturesque..." Aaroneiro muttered.

"Nonsense it's charming." Aizen smiled yet again. "Look at Ulquiorra's flushed face, and the way Grimmjaw's arms are wrapped around Ulquiorra's waist. Grimmjaw looks at peace for once and Ulquiorra quite vulnerable; it truly is a rare sight." Aizen minded.

"Everyone looks like that after a screw, probably even Hali-" Nnoitra stopped what he was saying when Halibel shot him a glare.

"Your never-ending pervasion astounds me Nnoitra." Halibel shot precariously. Nnoitra scowled irritably.

"Perhaps we should leave Aizen-Sama. This is an invasion of their privacy." Zommari commented.

"God damn it, the bastard's right." Yami grumbled.

"Yami hush. Now you all must not forget we are a community linked together by our wants and beliefs. We should not hide things and keep things hidden up from each other claiming such ludicrous idea as invasions of privacies. I'm ashamed Yami." Aizen scolded. All of the espada sighed in hopelessness.

"Dare I comment Aizen-Sama that watching a couple sleeping and cuddling after sex is well, frankly, just down right perverse." Szayel said scratching his head looking around his fellow espada's for backup.

"I agree with Szayel on this one Aizen-Sama." Aaroneiro's stated.

"Can we please leave? I'm sick of sleeping while standing up." Stark complained.

"All of you stop your complaining. We came for a purpose." Aizen spoke.

"Care to tell us what it is Aizen-Sama?" Szayel asked.

"Of course. Halibel the equipment please." Aizen demanded.

"Here you are Aizen-Sama." Halibel said handing Aizen over a box.

Aizen opened the small box Halibel handed him. The espada was left rather confused. Some of them had never even seen the equipment before. It was small and black, with a screen at the back with buttons on the top and side of the gadget.

"What the hell is that thing?" Barragan grumbled, slightly perplexed at the appearance of the device.

"I believe that to be a digital camera." Szayel answered.

"Isn't that thing to take pictures and film videos with?" Aaroneiro inquired.

"Yes, quite right. But Aizen Sama, just what do you plan to do with it?" Szayel asked.

"Why Szayel, I am going to take a picture of the two." Aizen smiled contently.

"E-excuse me?" Szayel flushed.

"Wow, Aizen-Sama, for just what purpose?" Nnoitra cackled mischievously while his tongue lolled out of his mouth.

"Well it would be unfair for the just our small party to witness such happenings. A scenic view should be enjoyed by all of soul kind." Aizen explained.

"Tch, nobody wants to see something like this." Yami grumbled.

"You'd be surprised Yami. On the contrary, many people would pay to see something like this. Actually the pictures we're about to take holds some financial purpose."

"We're going to sell the thing?" Stark yawned as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Exactly." Aizen answered.

"To where exactly? I certainly wouldn't pay for some crap like this." Barragen complained.

"On earth there are certain magazines and sites that would love some shots like this. We would actually get a surprising amount of money. Aizen Sama is even considering selling it to the shinigami women's association. They most likely would pay the most amount of money for the pictures." Halibel explained.

"The money earned would of course be split among us. You may use the money split for your own purposes. I won't intervene with that." Aizen commented.

"This isn't a moral decision. We're basically going to nude pictures of them without their consent." Zommari spoke up.

"Pshaw, when have we ever been so moral Zommari? We kill souls constantly. We've done worse things then this." Szayel said, excited about the idea of purchasing new experimental instruments.

"Go for it! Who cares?" Yami yelled out laughing.

"The bastards were asking for it the way they were advertising how they were fucking each other like crazy!" Nnoitra cackled.

"I'm glad you see things my way, espadas." Aizen smiled.

Aizen turned the camera on and aimed it towards the sleeping couple. And Flash. It was done. Their pornography was made.

~*~

Grimmjaw cracked opened his eyes. A yawn stretched out from his mouth. Ulquiorra was still sleeping beside him. He got up lazily, stretched and as he was about to step out of the chamber into the bathroom, he sawthe massive amount of mails beside the chamber.

Without much thought he cracked open one of them.

_Thank you Grimmjaw Jeagerjaques, and Ulquiorra Schiffer, for your contribution to our network of yaoi love. I hope you enjoy your heated nights, and please send us more materials in the future._

_Sincerely, the manager of ._

Grimmjaw was confused. He never received mail before, especially from these unfamiliar names.

_Though it is morally and fundamentally wrong for the shinigami women's association to be sending you two this thank you letter, however we must show our gratitude to you two for the perfect pictures you sold to us. When we meet on the battlefield we will pummel you, but until then we won't hold it against you two if you kept selling or sending us some pictures or videos of you two._

_From, the shinigami women's association._

What is this talking about pictures? Grimmjaw scowled. He took another letter into hand. This one was rather interesting, it was from Kurosaki Ichigo.

_You mother-fucking bastard! Whoever asked you to sell porn to my sisters?! You fucking pervert take this god damn picture back! The next time I see you, you fucker I'm so going to beat the shit out of you! My sisters are fucking juvenile you perverted bag of shit! They've opened their eyes to sex now thanks to you!_

_Kurosaki Ichigo._

Grimmjaw looked at the picture placed behind the letter. Though it was ripped in half and stepped on numerous times, it was clear to Grimmjaw what it was.

It was a picture of Ulquiorra and himself after sex. Grimmjaw was placed slightly on top of Ulquiorra while his arms were wrapped around him. Ulquiorra's neck was leaned to the side exposing an array of hickeys while his mouth was slightly open in the most promiscuous manner. One could easily make out the couples' rigid and firm body. One could easily see that Grimmjaw's body being rock hard and huge while Ulquiorra was more fragile and toned out.

It was clear what happened now. They were used as porn models against their will. Grimmjaw scowled as his crinkled the pictures he had in his hands swearing violently.

"What is it?" Ulquiorra awoken from Grimmjaw's swearing inquired.

Grimmjaw let out a sigh. "We're porn stars."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

Grimmjaw gripped his forehead in frustration and tossed Ulquiorra the crinkled half ripped picture.

Ulquiorra's eyes became saucers.

~*~

After that incident, on earth there was a mass array of women and gay men trying to find out just who the hot porn stars are. There were huge demands for videos full on action, and more licentious pictures. In soul society a captain's meeting was assigned whether the pictures of Grimmjaw and Ulquiorra should be banned from going around further. The decision was unanimous seeing as Unohana Retsu stepped in and just so merely commented that the picture was a work of art rather than just porn featuring soul society's greatest enemy. The pictures were to remain for everyone mature women or men to enjoy. And in Hueco Mundo Ulquiorra and Grimmjaw didn't get much privacy to both their and just about everybody else's sadness.


End file.
